“I feel so stupid!”
Have you ever worried how someone would react if you told them what was really going on in your head? Those niggling thoughts, the scathing self-judgement if you make a mistake? ‘Idiot.’ ‘Told you it was useless.’ If a friend spoke to you like that you’d drop them, wouldn’t you?
As a therapist I often get to hear about those thoughts. (Actually, I ask about them. That’s therapists for you.) Clients tell me that often it’s not so much the initial problem that bothers them; it’s the mental fall out, the shame spiral afterwards that can cause the most pain. And they’ve never spoken about it before.
It’s important to know that this inner chatter is learned. You’re not born with it (babies don’t have it). And the great news is because it was learned, it can be unlearned. The therapy room is a safe place to bring these dark thoughts into the open. You can use techniques to manage or get rid of the chatter. You can find out where it came from in the first place and let go. You can free yourself.
But one thing’s for certain – you’re not stupid. It takes courage to open up to someone else in this way. It’s a real privilege for me to hear about it. And personally I respect you for that.